I have spent several hours researching my issue, performing fixes that have worked for others, but to no avail. I have talked with 3rd party tech supports, in addition to Microsoft tech support. I also recently spent 3 hours under remote access with a helpdesk employee. To no avail.

My issue:

Recently updated to Windows 8.1. Immediately following, none of my browsers work. Internet Explorer is entirely out of commission. Firefox and Chrome, however, interestingly, are able to open simple google pages: gmail, google maps, google search - I can even search things that I want and results will show up... they just will not load if I click on them. The error message when I click on "More" says something along the lines of "maybe it's your firewall or antivirus wrongly detecting Chrome...", and I think maybe something similar for Firefox. Explorer simply says that it cannot display the page.

So, how am I writing this? I am currently booted up in Safe Mode, with networking. Apparently it works here, which I'm hoping indicates that the issue to resolvable.

Remedies I have attempted:

I have restarted my computer over 60 times in the past 2 days.

I have troubleshooted the internet connection via the button that says "troubleshoot". It says it cannot identify the problem.

I have executed various command prompts executed as administrator: i.e. netsh winsock refresh, advfirewall refresh, something to do with ipv4, ipv6, a bunch of "IP stack resets", etc, etc.

I have manually added chrome, firefox, and explorer to my firewall exceptions, both via McAfee and via the Windows firewall system. Both simultaneously, one at a time, etc, every combination of this.

I have uninstalled the web browsers and reinstalled them.

I have unintalled my antivirus and reinstalled it, and checked in between.

I have turned my firewall off.

I have manually inputted some kind of DNS address (8.8.8.8 and 8.8.4.4) and/or IP address (forget exactly what was asked of me to input).

I have gone to my "Manage Devices" and updated all of my network drivers, and attempted to revert to old versions of drivers.

There are probably more things that I have tried, I just don't remember exactly and cannot list them. Most things you can find on Google pertaining to this issue, I've tried.

Is there anything at all that anyone can think of to fix this situation? I am about ready to refresh my computer/do a systems restore/whatever to erase everything, factory reset, even (hopefully it works, because I've read that some people have issue, i.e. no previous partition found or something, or no recovery media present, etc, etc).

Before I resign to this, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HELP ME.

Also, may I please note here that given the sheer frequency of this issue around the web that I've found, I think it is absolutely ridiculous and irresponsible of Microsoft not to rectify the issue. This is even 3+ months following the release of the update; I always lag on updating such that bugs like these are fixed before I get on the train. This update has essentially reduced my multi-hundred dollar computer to an infantile calculator/solitaire/checkers/Microsoft office LCD screen. Not to mention wasted 2 full days of my time. 

Sorry, just saw red there at the end and had to vent my anger. Please help.