Ok hi i just downloaded SQL Management studio and SQLEXPRESS. All seems to be working. 

I have just opened a VPN between my home and the universities SQL server

what do i now need to do for me to be able to connect to their SQL server

I know my universities Credentials. i got the VPN IP address and i know the SQL server name

what now?

Once you VPN into the university server, Then launch the SSMS to connect to SQL

and how do i do that? i put in the server name but then it just says The login is from an untrusted domain and cannot be used with Windows authentication

Once you are connected to your university through the VPN, I would first check if you can ping the university's SQL Server.  Just open a command prompt and ping the actual server.

If you get a response, then you need to ensure that the university's SQL Server allows you to connect to it.  I suspect this is the actual problem.  The SQL Server authentication is either through a domain account or a SQL Server login.  You need to check which type of authentication you can use to connect to the SQL Server instance.

I was able to

runas /netonly /user:SERVERNAME\USERNAME "C:\Program Files (x86)\Microsoft SQL Server\100\Tools\Binn\VSShell\Common7\IDE\Ssms.exe"

to connnect to my uni user cred but the guide i found was for 2008 
and did it as "C:\Program Files (x86)\Microsoft SQL Server\110\Tools\Binn\ManagementStudio\Ssms.exe" 
and it worked as the uni uses SQL 2012

• Marked as answer by Desty112233 8 hours 41 minutes ago
• Edited by Desty112233 8 hours 39 minutes ago